Hello again everyone. I apologize as this post will probably not get me a lot of fanfare as my previous other two blogs because it's not as Gothic. I'll get back to those gothy-type rants later. I was originally going to wait till I received a comment or at least 15 views of this blog before I posted this. But, I have almost nothing to do at this point in the year. And, I need to type something. So, here it is a week earlier than expected: My End of a book reflections on Borders And Envelopes.
I recently finished writing my fifth book, Borders & Envelopes. And, I would like to reflect on one of the many themes of Borders & Envelopes: A Lack of Authority. Or, more simply put, feeling like you have no control over your life.
I'll clarify how this is a theme in both the manuscript, my personal daily life, & your daily life. In the manuscript, the main character has to help her parents care for eleven children, including her. She has to move from Mexico to America. She finds out she's pregnant by a boy from her homeland. Her mother & her eldest brother treat her like she's an idiot at many, many times. Her father has cancer, so she has to give her mother & younger siblings three-fourths of her salary, and she gets paid on commission. On top of that, her younger brother dies unexpectedly. I don't want to spoil any ending. So, to get to the point, she feels like the world hates her & that God/a higher power has more control than she does.
It eerily plays a part in my personal life at the moment as well. Right now, it is the end of the year for my schooling. My mother won't let me have any control of my psychiatric treatment even though I have been old enough to say "I don't think I like this treatment. If feels more like I am being treated like an asshole for my mental illnesses & the way I do things than being treated for my illnesses." for three years now (at least where I'm from). My therapist recently told me to wait to type Schadenfreude until I am all done typing Borders & Envelopes (At this point, with this bitch I am really kind of sick of her. I gave a chance, but, I think my mother has too little friends/or is too stupid to get me a different person. Needless to say, I miss my old therapist. But, I started typing Schadenfreude anyway, so, I'm not telling her a damn thing.). Like I said earlier, my schooling is almost over. In just a few days, I will be at home for the summer. But, a few days before that, I will be at one of my two schools, in particular, the one that is my personal hell. And, I will have to cope with students that all in my opinion should be either put on stronger medication, put in a psychiatric ward, or put in prison (you'd have to see the school I'm going to to understand), and teachers who don't have the patience to suggest it. The binder I write in is too full to close, so, I cannot write in the situations that I want to write in (such as family gatherings because being the eldest grandkid, I have to constantly be around kids in my sensory-issue area). And, on top of that, I have a show on my mind that is so weird I'm glad they haven't invented mind reading technology yet.*
*Sorry. Had to get this all off my chest, and this is also a clear example on how I have no Authority.
Either way, I know that a lot of you feel like you have no control over your life right now. Or, maybe you NEVER EVER, EVER, EVER,EVER felt like you had control over any aspect of your life whatsoever. And, that could be for a majority of different reasons. Maybe it's because your government is abusing its authority, and on that note, I would like to send a shout-out to all my readers in Russia. I am amazed that you were even able to find this blog as I heard that every Goth & Emo thing (or what was construed as either or) was banned as being "dangerous".
Anyway, maybe you feel that way due to health issues. Or, you feel that way due to financial/family issues, such as divorce or foreclosure. But, whatever the case, remember, as hard as it is to remember, You have more control over your life than you will ever know.
Well, that's it for today. Goodbye.
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