Advice on How To Be Goth During the Summer

   Hello again dear readers. It is Saturday May 26th, 2012 Memorial Day Weekend beginning. I am now COMPLETELY done with a movie script  I was writing, except for typing it. I am almost done writing Borders & Envelopes, only one chapter left to go in writing, and Chapter Nine in typing. For The Devil Horns' Toss, I am still on Lacrymosa (Chapter Three) writing wise, however, soon, I could possibly be typing Schadenfreude (Chapter One). Enough about my writings (even though I am really excited about them). Since I now have an audience, I would like to give my first piece of Goth Advice.


    Now, before I go on, I realize that one in my audience is from Russia, which may mean the fact they even got on this here blog is a miracle. But, either way, I kind of have to explain what Memorial Day Weekend is to the foreigners on this blog. Memorial Day is a holiday that falls on Monday every year, & it is a holiday in which many government buildings are closed, mostly schools are closed in memory of all the American MIA/POW/killed in action soldiers. However, many people (in particular, schoolchildren but mostly all Americans) treat it as the true first day of summer. A lot of swimming pools open, amusement parks open, girls start wearing shorter clothes.
       However, when you are a Goth like me & a lot of other people reading this blog, Summer is to you what a cat is to a mouse. So, here are some tips on how to be a Goth during the summertime:

• First off, wear lighter shades such as grey or white. Now, you may want to wear colors such as black, & you can. It's just more difficult.
• Wear very light fabrics, such as silk & cotton. DO NOT WEAR HEAVY FABRICS SUCH AS VELVET, LACE,POLYESTER, & TAFFETA. I wore both on two days a Memorial Day weekend or two ago. I was outside so much I was near dead from heat stroke.
• Now, for those of you who wear heavy eye makeup, pick some good eye foundations. I personally used to use MAC's paint pot shade Painterly. However, that shade would have my makeup fade off by the end of the night in heat over 85 degrees. So, I switched to using CLINIQUE Lid Smoothie Antioxidant 8-hour Eye Colour shade 02 Cashew Later. (*A quick side note: I am not trying to advertise either makeup brands. I am just making a recommendation from personal expierience.)
• It is perfectly OK to wear boots in temperatures over 85 degrees. It is also appropriate for Goths to wear open-toed shoes/flip-flops. Enough said.
• If  you are one of those Goths that wear very short sleeves & skirts/are slightly into the Bondage-sadomasochism subculture as well as the Gothic subculture, this advice applies less to you. 
• Don't go overboard with your makeup.  In addition to looking like Alice Cooper (unless that's what you're going for), melting eye shadow & eyeliner might get into your eye & really cause some serious damage. Don't believe me? Just recently, someone I know had to flush her eye out because she got eyeliner & mascara in her eye & it really irritated her eye.
• Sometimes, with what you are planning to wear, the weather will just refuse to cooperate with your outfit. So, a lot of you Goths are going to hate me for what I am going to say. But, here it is: When in doubt,  don't wear it. And, don't wear trenchcoats at this time. 
• Ladies And Gentlemen of the Class of '99, wear sunscreen.  The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists. In all seriousness though, wear sunscreen. It's better to look like Amy Lee than look like Snooki I always say. And, you won't get skin cancer.
• For swimsuits, Ladies: No one wants to see your unmentionables. Wear a swimsuit that fits properly, unless it's a bikini. But, even then, don't show too much. Gentlemen: Please don't wear a banana hammock unless you absolutely have to. Enough said.
• Drink more than eight glasses of water a day.  Scientists recommend drinking at least eight glasses of water a day. But, trust me. Since you are wearing all black/dark colors all the time, your clothes are absorbing more of the sunshine, which is making you hotter than the average nonGoth human. So, I'd recommend at least 9-10 glasses of water a day.
• Last But Not Least: Elegant is not always appropriate. So, Ladies, try as much as humanly possible to avoid those cutesy little Victorian-Edwardian outfits during the day. And,  guys, I know you want to seem suave for possible girlfriend's parents. BUT, FOR CHRIST'S SAKES, DO NOT WEAR ANY OF THOSE TUXEDOS THAT ARE DESIGNED TO LOOK LIKE ONE OF THOSE TUXEDOS WORN BY MARILYN MANSON DURING THE GOLDEN AGE OF GROTESQUE PROMOTION!

   Well, that's all I can think of to advise right now. If you have anything to add to this, or if you have any questions for me, leave them in the comment section, or email me a bonovika@comcast.net.