Hello, all. I realize it's been awhile since I made a post. I apologize for that. I've been busy, as I work on multiple manuscripts at a time. And, I also have a lot of school work to do at this time of the year, as it is winter where I live, & I haven't had much time to type. I am actually typing this from a school computer, as I have only started typing my manuscripts again recently, & am trying to close out an old system & start a new one.
But, as this post may suggest, I have finished another book. This manuscript happens to be one of my particular favorites. The name of the manuscript is Tears In The Rain. I should get it done by Valentine's Day, as it is a love story. But, the main theme of this book is a bittersweet topic because some of you will have more words on it than I can say her (and, believe me, I try to make these posts be long, & this being one of my particular favorite manuscripts, there are so many themes in that book I could talk about that I could write a manuscript about that.). The reason for that is because you quite possibly live in a non-democratic, non-capitalist society, which don't get me wrong America is not always a walk on the beach to live in either, where you have less of a choice of this thing I am about to talk about this. For the Americans that are reading this post, you probably know a little bit about this theme, but, not to the degree I am about to discuss this about.
Either way, the major theme of Tears In The Rain that I am going to discuss today is your life rights.
In Tears In The Rain, the main male character is a "starving artist" who was born in China (no, literately, the man is a poverty-stricken artist). He has no way of using his life rights of right to a healthy living residence & a fair income. In that same retrospect, the main female character is a wealthy woman who is being forced to marry a rich man by her stepfather. She has no way of using her life rights of right to fall in love & right to be married to a man who loves her despite her beauty & wealth, & sees her as human and not a toy.
So, yeah, you probably get the gist of where I am going. I am talking for the first time about the inalienable rights every human has. There will be several posts about this since I am American & have a sense this post will earn me my first comment.
Anyway, there are several human rights everyone is born with. But, the main reason I am talking about this is that there are so many places & times & dates at which we can't choose. Now, I'm all que ser ra, ser ra as much as the next guy you'll meet. But, there's a difference between my que ser ra, que ser ra & que ser ra in a country like, oh I don't know, Pakistan.
In many countries in the Middle East & Africa & parts of Asia, & I don't really know why this is, you have no way of accessing your life rights. Everything, from the car you drive to the man/woman you spend your life with, is decided by someone, mostly the government. In those countries, I bet my left arm that if you even begin to read half of the posts on this blog, you'll be in jail before you can even say "AspieGoth". I don't have to use an example for this, as if you live in this type of country, probably know it already.
In so many other countries, you have some control of your life rights, but, not much. Again, as a US citizen, I'm not sure why. But, just like I said before, you'd probably get arrested for reading this blog. One example of this (and, I'm not sure about if they changed this or not) is that in Russia, Goths, Emos, & people of the Heavy Metal subculture/religion (half of England follows Heavy Metal as an official religion apparently) cannot sell their music online or go into a government building dressed as the people of their subculture (Which is why I must send a shout out to Russia, as the second biggest demographic of blog readers come from Russia. I'm sorry your government only elects idiots for leaders! :-I)
On that note, I leave this post up for discussion.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
The AspieGoth? Blog
Hello. Today is Monday, November 14th, 2012. I am currently sitting at a Mac, which is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay different from a PC. So, bear with me here.
Anyway, recently, as in very, very, very very, recently, I was seeing the main source of traffic for this here blog. By seeing, I mean, I was trying to see where half of you come from, and why you are reading my blog, & how you got here. (This was before I posted my last two posts, just in case you were wondering.) Either way, I clicked on the one traffic source. And, it took me to a search on Google UK. Now, this search was for the topic "Why are so many people with Asperger's Syndrome Goths?"
Other than some other blogs about similar topics, (hey fellow dark guardians of the internet :)), there were some websites written by psychologists, psychiatrists, pediatricians, etc, etc about this particular topic. There were even, to my suprise, some parenting websites talking about this particular subjects. And, on a side note, there even was a page on GodhatesGoths.com on how "God hates Retards". That's a side note becaus this post is not about them (*cough * bigots *cough*).
Anyway, what these sites & blogs all seemed to ask the same question (aside from GodhatesGoths.com). Why are so many people with Asperger's Syndrome, a form of Autism that severely hinders social functions & queues, Goths, members of an elite subculture that, stereotypically, glorifies depression, homicide/suicide, teen angst, & follow Satanism under the Marilyn Manson, Pretty Reckless, Evanescence denominations, & dress like Abby from NCIS' children?
Well, as I referred to the above stereotype overload, & as I read the websites basically ALL ASKING THE SAME THING, I had to sit back for a moment. After a moment, (and some deep (and, I do mean DEEP) breathing exercises) I decided to write a little essay/lecture/tangent from the viewpoint of an AspieGoth on why there are (apparently) so many "Aspie Goths".
Let's begin with something that I will assume is partway fact & not opinion since it is true for me: Most AspieGoths were diagnosed with the disorder/syndrome/disease/ailment thing known as Asperger's Syndrome BEFORE they discovered the subculture/culture/lifestyle to which they became accustomed to. I was only watching cartoons that showed the subculture to me & introduced me to it when I was diagnosed.
Next, the main reason for this is also (I think) two reasons. The first one is that a lot of Asperger's/Autistic people are strange. I personally only stayed with the subculture because I really do not fit in anywhere else. My mother in hindsight has admitted this once to me.
The second reason I think is that a looooot of Asperger's/autistic people are, by nature, nonconformists. They aren't neccessarily all Goths like me. But, by nature, most Asperger's/autistic people don't obey society's rules because they can not understand them simply. Now, that being said, just because someone's autistic/Asperger's does not make them a nonconformist. And, just because someone's a nonconformist does not make them autistic/Asperger's. There. I feel better already.
Well, there's my opinion on the matter. What's yours?
Anyway, recently, as in very, very, very very, recently, I was seeing the main source of traffic for this here blog. By seeing, I mean, I was trying to see where half of you come from, and why you are reading my blog, & how you got here. (This was before I posted my last two posts, just in case you were wondering.) Either way, I clicked on the one traffic source. And, it took me to a search on Google UK. Now, this search was for the topic "Why are so many people with Asperger's Syndrome Goths?"
Other than some other blogs about similar topics, (hey fellow dark guardians of the internet :)), there were some websites written by psychologists, psychiatrists, pediatricians, etc, etc about this particular topic. There were even, to my suprise, some parenting websites talking about this particular subjects. And, on a side note, there even was a page on GodhatesGoths.com on how "God hates Retards". That's a side note becaus this post is not about them (*cough * bigots *cough*).
Anyway, what these sites & blogs all seemed to ask the same question (aside from GodhatesGoths.com). Why are so many people with Asperger's Syndrome, a form of Autism that severely hinders social functions & queues, Goths, members of an elite subculture that, stereotypically, glorifies depression, homicide/suicide, teen angst, & follow Satanism under the Marilyn Manson, Pretty Reckless, Evanescence denominations, & dress like Abby from NCIS' children?
Well, as I referred to the above stereotype overload, & as I read the websites basically ALL ASKING THE SAME THING, I had to sit back for a moment. After a moment, (and some deep (and, I do mean DEEP) breathing exercises) I decided to write a little essay/lecture/tangent from the viewpoint of an AspieGoth on why there are (apparently) so many "Aspie Goths".
Let's begin with something that I will assume is partway fact & not opinion since it is true for me: Most AspieGoths were diagnosed with the disorder/syndrome/disease/ailment thing known as Asperger's Syndrome BEFORE they discovered the subculture/culture/lifestyle to which they became accustomed to. I was only watching cartoons that showed the subculture to me & introduced me to it when I was diagnosed.
Next, the main reason for this is also (I think) two reasons. The first one is that a lot of Asperger's/Autistic people are strange. I personally only stayed with the subculture because I really do not fit in anywhere else. My mother in hindsight has admitted this once to me.
The second reason I think is that a looooot of Asperger's/autistic people are, by nature, nonconformists. They aren't neccessarily all Goths like me. But, by nature, most Asperger's/autistic people don't obey society's rules because they can not understand them simply. Now, that being said, just because someone's autistic/Asperger's does not make them a nonconformist. And, just because someone's a nonconformist does not make them autistic/Asperger's. There. I feel better already.
Well, there's my opinion on the matter. What's yours?
Friday, November 16, 2012
Announcing Savant
Hey. It's me again. I am very sorry about the lapse in posts. It's just that my manuscripts are keeping me busy, & I have school, which the pace is going way too fast for me, & I am doing more with my life than when I started this blog months ago. So, these posts may not come at a constant rate, so, it could be a while between posts. But, anywho, I am making this blog about a book that I am lock, stock, & barrel done with. I finished writing & typing it in July, but, I have been too incredibly busy to post its pictures.
Until now.
First, here is the cover of Savant:
Now, here are the illustrations:
Well, those are Savant's illustrations & cover. I hope you enjoy them
Until now.
First, here is the cover of Savant:
Now, here are the illustrations:
Well, those are Savant's illustrations & cover. I hope you enjoy them
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
The Song That Got Away
Hey. It's me again. I'm sorry. I'm ridiculously busy, so, forgive me if I seem off-task writing these posts.
Anywho, I am writing this blog about something that is a very important issue: a song.
You see, in addition to being a Goth, I am a hard rock fan. And, there is a song that is on my beloved wishlist for my Ipod. This song I was listening to music by similar lineups of this band when I came upon a song by this band. Wondering whether it was one lineup or another, I clicked on this song. And, to my amazement, I found one of the most amazing songs I have ever heard. This song right then & there inspired the manuscript Zombie Heart (and while it was at it, improved Savant). This song felt like flight. I was inspired by this song to walk around my house. And, now, you may be wondering what exactly is the song I am now blogging about. Well, you're in luck, dear reader. The song I am blogging about is "Valhalla" by Black Sabbath, off of the Tyr album.
But, here's the thing: When I looked up this song on iTunes, iTunes had other songs under this title, but, they did not have it. Neither did they have it under Black Sabbath or Tyr. They had other things, but, not what I had in mind. And, so, the only place I can find this song is the internet. I don't know why.
So, there's the blog about the song that got away.
Anywho, I am writing this blog about something that is a very important issue: a song.
You see, in addition to being a Goth, I am a hard rock fan. And, there is a song that is on my beloved wishlist for my Ipod. This song I was listening to music by similar lineups of this band when I came upon a song by this band. Wondering whether it was one lineup or another, I clicked on this song. And, to my amazement, I found one of the most amazing songs I have ever heard. This song right then & there inspired the manuscript Zombie Heart (and while it was at it, improved Savant). This song felt like flight. I was inspired by this song to walk around my house. And, now, you may be wondering what exactly is the song I am now blogging about. Well, you're in luck, dear reader. The song I am blogging about is "Valhalla" by Black Sabbath, off of the Tyr album.
But, here's the thing: When I looked up this song on iTunes, iTunes had other songs under this title, but, they did not have it. Neither did they have it under Black Sabbath or Tyr. They had other things, but, not what I had in mind. And, so, the only place I can find this song is the internet. I don't know why.
So, there's the blog about the song that got away.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
End of A Book Reflections:Intuition
Hello. This is going to be short as I can't think of what all to say. But, I have finished a book. And, I want to reflect on one of the main themes of the book: Intuition.
The main character in Savant used his intuition to figure out who the villain was. The way he did that, use your intuition every day.
That's the best I can come up with. Good bye.
The main character in Savant used his intuition to figure out who the villain was. The way he did that, use your intuition every day.
That's the best I can come up with. Good bye.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Hell Hath No Fury Like An Asperger's-Goth-Girl Scorned
Just to warn you: I have visited many other blogs, & I do realize that most of the blogs out there are about families & churches who will not agree with what you are about to read. I have really only seen two subculture representative blogs while exploring this site. So, if you are a pastor, a preacher, a family man, or, for any other reason are appalled by profanity, DO NOT READ THIS FUCKING POST!!!!!!!!!!
(*A side note #1: No, I do not own any of the pictures you are going to see in this post, which means this picture of Marilyn Manson is not mine. A side note #2: I would like to thank my pug for not puking on me or the carpet when I looked for this image with you in hand to curb my anxiety about seeing this guy's face.)
Anyway, you may be wondering why I am starting this blog with an image of Marilyn Manson. Well, there are two main reasons I started this post with a picture of Marilyn Manson. The first is that many of the fans of Marilyn Manson as well as other people have to deal with the main issue of this particular post: bullying.
Now, I was bullied in high school, & I personally plain think that all this campaigning for antibullying policies is ridiculous & going to go overboard eventually in teaching bullies how to be better bullies, but, that's just me. But, there was an article that I read on the interwebs that ruffled so many of my feathers that I just had to rant on it in my blog. And, that brings me to the second reason I started this post with a picture of Marilyn Manson: This story that starts this post involves a boy wearing makeup (I'm assuming he was wearing makeup).
Apparently, there was a young man who is out & proud to be gay. But, in addition to being gay, he liked to wear effeminate clothing, & dressing like girl. So, in short, this kid's a drag queen (nothing wrong with that). And, because of that, he was being bullied. But, when he went to his principal about what was going on, he was told "maybe if you dressed like a normal boy, you wouldn't get picked on" & told him to "tone it down". Meanwhile, this kid was getting attacked to high hell. His mother, knowing what was going on & what the principal had said, decided to help the kid protect himself from his tormentors. She bought her son a taser gun to help him better protect himself. But, when he brought it to school with him, the school took the gun away, & now the poor kid is facing expulsion.
The first thing I thought of when I read this was complete & udder disgust, both for the bullying, for the principal's reaction, & for the homophobic comments some people posted on that article, & some of you are going to post on this particular post. And, I am disgusted with good reason too.
(*Like I said before, I do not own this picture.)
Let me tell you a little more about myself & explain why this post means a lot to me. I will also take the time to explain why there is a picture of deceased heavy metal icon Ronnie James Dio in this post as well as shock rocker Marilyn Manson in this here post.
Starting with myself:
I went to a different school district for middle & high school than elementary school (on a side note, I repeated preschool.). Partially because of this, in middle school & in high school, I had almost ziltch friends, mostly acquaintances. I had heard of Goth, the subculture I would grow up to learn that I am a born member of, when I was a young child. I had learned of it through cartoons & "clean, wholesome, family" shows who potrayed the characters in both good/bad lights. But, looking back, I was always the oddball kid. I was at one point in my life a tomboy. I'm not really a tomboy now, but, I'm kinda a tomboy a little bit. When I was in the 5th grade, one of my favorite grandparents in the whole wide world caught Alzheimers & died. Emotionally, I was devastated. It was a few months later. I was watching MTV for the first time ever, back when they showed music videos & not drunks that destroy my faith in humanity. I was so devastated over the death of my dead grandmother that I hoped to see a Green Day music video because at the time, that was my definition of depressing. Then, I saw the music video for Evanescence's "Call Me When You're Sober". And, I instantly fell in love with it. Slowly, but, surely, I discovered I was a Goth girl. I decided not to dress like I was until 15 years old.
However, the first day I ever wore "Goth Garb", I was told by my middle school to "tone it down" because I was beautiful just the way I was & "people will make fun of you". I was devastated, as that day, I had received nothing but compliments & praise for my outfit on that day. I did not dress my style again until that summer vacation.
Then, I went to high school. Which high school, I don't care who you are, high school & middle school are always a pain in the ass for everybody, & I heard enough people say it was the worst four years of their lives, so I knew it was going to be horrible going in. But, in freshman year, I had two bitchy-ass teachers, one right after the other. The first one gave me detentions which I was deathly afraid of. The other one's just a bitch that reminded me of an authorative figure whom I dare not mention his name to avoid offending the Jewish at times. But, either way, I was picking my nose & biting my fingernails a lot more than I should to calm my anxiety. Now, I know they are both really disgusting habits & am working hard to curb those revolting habits both of them. But, either way, this one boy that was in both this particular class & the next class would sing really derogatory things & basically made fun of me for picking my nose. Most of the time, I found this just really fucking annoying. Luckily, a few of my teachers reported them before my mother even found out. And, it stopped.
The kids who bullied me got detention. To this day, I somewhat hate them. But, my Asperger's Syndrome & looking back makes me worry. Were those really the only kids bullying me? Were there others that bullied me behind my back? Do they still do? And, what if it's not just my habits? What if I was & still am being mocked for being an AspieGoth?
Explanation for Dio picture:
Ronnie James Dio, in addition to many others saved me from myself as an adolescent on many occasions. Because I am an Aspie, or a "rainbow". And, I happen to be Goth, so, I'm "in the dark". I am a "Rainbow In The Dark".
(*Again, I don't own this picture of Lady Gaga. I am not goin to explain why I chose to include a picture of Lady Gaga in this post, & for all the trolls, this happens to be the best picture of Lady Gaga I could find, so, I don't wanna hear it.)
Now, you know why I am talking about this. Let me go a little further with what I am going to say: WHAT THE FUCK?????
I mean, really. Let's reflect on what mistake occured in both my & the boy's story. The boy was told to tone it down because maybe "if you dress like a normal boy your age, people won't make fun of you." I was told not to dress the way I have felt for years because I had no friends & "people will make fun of you".
And, people are going to continue to make comments like"homosexuality's a sin/choice" & "by dressing in feminine clothes, the boy was asking for it/disrupting the kids who were bullying him's right to an education". If that's your comment, I have one question for you: What country & century are you living in? Because the country I & this boy are living in is called the U.nited S.tates of A.merica, a country that was founded on free speech for all, regardless of what color your skin is (race), what spiritual presence or lack thereof you believe in (religion), what genitals you were born with (sex), what genitals you prefer (sexual orientation), your aesthetics, etc. And, what that principal did, what my guidance counselor did, when they told us what they told us was equivalent to telling us "You deserve to be abused."
I have a question for every school officiant whether they be a teacher or a school guidance counselor or a principal or a teacher's aide or whatever who has told a child not to dress a certain way because "people will make fun of you" & "maybe if you dressed like a normal (boy/girl) your age, they wouldn't make fun of you" when they were being bullied for how they dress/came dressed differently than how they typically dress: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SMOKING & WHAT IDIOT TAUGHT YOU HOW TO TEACH CHILDREN????????????????????????
Because they taught you wrong. It is wrong to make fun of someone just because they are dresssed differently. And, when you tell a child one of the two quotes above, it's basically like saying a girl was raped for wearing nothing but a bikini & stilletos on the day she was raped, or a person was mugged just because the day they were mugged, they were wearing expensive jewelry & a fur coat. It's blaming the victims rather than the dipshits that commit these crimes.
Here's another reason: They probably receive so much of this from their parents that they don't want to hear it from you.
And, if you would really still tell a child that, compare that particular child to a severely diarrhetic fan maker in a fan factory. Would you tell that guy to get another job? No!!!!!!!!!!! You would tell the guy to go to a doctor for his diarrhea.
I didn't think so. I also did not, am not, will not & should not explain why there is a picture of Lady Gaga on my blog. I do not, am not, will not & should not have to explain why there is a picture of Lady Gaga on my blog about antibullying,
(*No, I do not own this image. I wish I did though.)
Now, I know there is a lot of profanity here. But, being a christian, I have to make this next arguement.
JESUS LOVES THE LITTLE CHILDREN, ALL THE LITTLE CHILDREN AROUND THE WORLD, RED & YELLOW, BLACK & WHITE, JESUS LOVES THEM ALL IN SIGHT, JESUS LOVES THE LITTLE CHILDREN, ALL THE LITTLE CHILDREN AROUND THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(*Ok, no, I don't this picture either, but, this is a relative of mine who died in 1956, so, A.) you'll see why I'm talking about her in a moment, B.) I don't think it really matters if it's an ancestor).
And, do you know why else what you are telling the children is wrong? Because it is essentially telling children "You deserve to be beaten, insulted, have your things vandalized/stolen, be threatened, insert other form of abuse here." And, kids believe it to a degree that they become depressed & attempt suicide. Other times, they get so desperate that their parents buy them stun guns or in some way, shape, or form, the situation will get much more dire than suicide (if such a thing is even possible).
Now, I would like to say something to the victims of bullying who are inevitably reading this post, as well as those who are thinking about typing "Homosexuality is a sin/choice, repent for your sins right now!" in the comment section. It is not a choice. Otherwise, every person on this planet would be gay, & humans would become endangered species. Not one of the many people that claim to be gay ever woke up one morning when they were four years old & thought "I am going to be gay when I grow up."
In the same light, never once when I was four years old did I ever wake up in the morning & say "I am going to be a Goth when I grow up." Neither did Marilyn Manson ever wake up as a child & say "I am going to be people's worst nightmare when I grow up." Neither did Lady Gaga ever wake up as a child & say "I am going to dress in fashions so ridiculous I'll be the both the fashion queen & laughingstock of Hollywood at the same time when I grow up." Nor did Ronnie James Dio ever wake up when he was a child & say "I am going to turn an italian good luck-bad luck hand gesture into one of rock music's most iconic rituals."
And, now, here's the story on the final picture: It's my great-great aunt. She had diabetes & because of it, she had her one leg cut off at the knee. She grew up to be one of those performers who took her prosthetic off for the amusement of the crowd for the troops. Never once as a child did she wake up & say "I am going to take my leg off for the amusement of others when I grow up."
To children being bullied:Whatever they are bullying you for, remember, it is probably something no one, not even you have much, or any, control. I am not going to bullshit you by saying "It gets better", even though 75% of the time, it does get better. Because you probably will hear it from a million other people. But, tell yourself this: I will not receive shit from the shit I do not, can not, & will not have the ability to control.
(*A side note #1: No, I do not own any of the pictures you are going to see in this post, which means this picture of Marilyn Manson is not mine. A side note #2: I would like to thank my pug for not puking on me or the carpet when I looked for this image with you in hand to curb my anxiety about seeing this guy's face.)
Anyway, you may be wondering why I am starting this blog with an image of Marilyn Manson. Well, there are two main reasons I started this post with a picture of Marilyn Manson. The first is that many of the fans of Marilyn Manson as well as other people have to deal with the main issue of this particular post: bullying.
Now, I was bullied in high school, & I personally plain think that all this campaigning for antibullying policies is ridiculous & going to go overboard eventually in teaching bullies how to be better bullies, but, that's just me. But, there was an article that I read on the interwebs that ruffled so many of my feathers that I just had to rant on it in my blog. And, that brings me to the second reason I started this post with a picture of Marilyn Manson: This story that starts this post involves a boy wearing makeup (I'm assuming he was wearing makeup).
Apparently, there was a young man who is out & proud to be gay. But, in addition to being gay, he liked to wear effeminate clothing, & dressing like girl. So, in short, this kid's a drag queen (nothing wrong with that). And, because of that, he was being bullied. But, when he went to his principal about what was going on, he was told "maybe if you dressed like a normal boy, you wouldn't get picked on" & told him to "tone it down". Meanwhile, this kid was getting attacked to high hell. His mother, knowing what was going on & what the principal had said, decided to help the kid protect himself from his tormentors. She bought her son a taser gun to help him better protect himself. But, when he brought it to school with him, the school took the gun away, & now the poor kid is facing expulsion.
The first thing I thought of when I read this was complete & udder disgust, both for the bullying, for the principal's reaction, & for the homophobic comments some people posted on that article, & some of you are going to post on this particular post. And, I am disgusted with good reason too.
(*Like I said before, I do not own this picture.)
Let me tell you a little more about myself & explain why this post means a lot to me. I will also take the time to explain why there is a picture of deceased heavy metal icon Ronnie James Dio in this post as well as shock rocker Marilyn Manson in this here post.
Starting with myself:
I went to a different school district for middle & high school than elementary school (on a side note, I repeated preschool.). Partially because of this, in middle school & in high school, I had almost ziltch friends, mostly acquaintances. I had heard of Goth, the subculture I would grow up to learn that I am a born member of, when I was a young child. I had learned of it through cartoons & "clean, wholesome, family" shows who potrayed the characters in both good/bad lights. But, looking back, I was always the oddball kid. I was at one point in my life a tomboy. I'm not really a tomboy now, but, I'm kinda a tomboy a little bit. When I was in the 5th grade, one of my favorite grandparents in the whole wide world caught Alzheimers & died. Emotionally, I was devastated. It was a few months later. I was watching MTV for the first time ever, back when they showed music videos & not drunks that destroy my faith in humanity. I was so devastated over the death of my dead grandmother that I hoped to see a Green Day music video because at the time, that was my definition of depressing. Then, I saw the music video for Evanescence's "Call Me When You're Sober". And, I instantly fell in love with it. Slowly, but, surely, I discovered I was a Goth girl. I decided not to dress like I was until 15 years old.
However, the first day I ever wore "Goth Garb", I was told by my middle school to "tone it down" because I was beautiful just the way I was & "people will make fun of you". I was devastated, as that day, I had received nothing but compliments & praise for my outfit on that day. I did not dress my style again until that summer vacation.
Then, I went to high school. Which high school, I don't care who you are, high school & middle school are always a pain in the ass for everybody, & I heard enough people say it was the worst four years of their lives, so I knew it was going to be horrible going in. But, in freshman year, I had two bitchy-ass teachers, one right after the other. The first one gave me detentions which I was deathly afraid of. The other one's just a bitch that reminded me of an authorative figure whom I dare not mention his name to avoid offending the Jewish at times. But, either way, I was picking my nose & biting my fingernails a lot more than I should to calm my anxiety. Now, I know they are both really disgusting habits & am working hard to curb those revolting habits both of them. But, either way, this one boy that was in both this particular class & the next class would sing really derogatory things & basically made fun of me for picking my nose. Most of the time, I found this just really fucking annoying. Luckily, a few of my teachers reported them before my mother even found out. And, it stopped.
The kids who bullied me got detention. To this day, I somewhat hate them. But, my Asperger's Syndrome & looking back makes me worry. Were those really the only kids bullying me? Were there others that bullied me behind my back? Do they still do? And, what if it's not just my habits? What if I was & still am being mocked for being an AspieGoth?
Explanation for Dio picture:
Ronnie James Dio, in addition to many others saved me from myself as an adolescent on many occasions. Because I am an Aspie, or a "rainbow". And, I happen to be Goth, so, I'm "in the dark". I am a "Rainbow In The Dark".
(*Again, I don't own this picture of Lady Gaga. I am not goin to explain why I chose to include a picture of Lady Gaga in this post, & for all the trolls, this happens to be the best picture of Lady Gaga I could find, so, I don't wanna hear it.)
Now, you know why I am talking about this. Let me go a little further with what I am going to say: WHAT THE FUCK?????
I mean, really. Let's reflect on what mistake occured in both my & the boy's story. The boy was told to tone it down because maybe "if you dress like a normal boy your age, people won't make fun of you." I was told not to dress the way I have felt for years because I had no friends & "people will make fun of you".
And, people are going to continue to make comments like"homosexuality's a sin/choice" & "by dressing in feminine clothes, the boy was asking for it/disrupting the kids who were bullying him's right to an education". If that's your comment, I have one question for you: What country & century are you living in? Because the country I & this boy are living in is called the U.nited S.tates of A.merica, a country that was founded on free speech for all, regardless of what color your skin is (race), what spiritual presence or lack thereof you believe in (religion), what genitals you were born with (sex), what genitals you prefer (sexual orientation), your aesthetics, etc. And, what that principal did, what my guidance counselor did, when they told us what they told us was equivalent to telling us "You deserve to be abused."
I have a question for every school officiant whether they be a teacher or a school guidance counselor or a principal or a teacher's aide or whatever who has told a child not to dress a certain way because "people will make fun of you" & "maybe if you dressed like a normal (boy/girl) your age, they wouldn't make fun of you" when they were being bullied for how they dress/came dressed differently than how they typically dress: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SMOKING & WHAT IDIOT TAUGHT YOU HOW TO TEACH CHILDREN????????????????????????
Because they taught you wrong. It is wrong to make fun of someone just because they are dresssed differently. And, when you tell a child one of the two quotes above, it's basically like saying a girl was raped for wearing nothing but a bikini & stilletos on the day she was raped, or a person was mugged just because the day they were mugged, they were wearing expensive jewelry & a fur coat. It's blaming the victims rather than the dipshits that commit these crimes.
Here's another reason: They probably receive so much of this from their parents that they don't want to hear it from you.
And, if you would really still tell a child that, compare that particular child to a severely diarrhetic fan maker in a fan factory. Would you tell that guy to get another job? No!!!!!!!!!!! You would tell the guy to go to a doctor for his diarrhea.
I didn't think so. I also did not, am not, will not & should not explain why there is a picture of Lady Gaga on my blog. I do not, am not, will not & should not have to explain why there is a picture of Lady Gaga on my blog about antibullying,
(*No, I do not own this image. I wish I did though.)
Now, I know there is a lot of profanity here. But, being a christian, I have to make this next arguement.
JESUS LOVES THE LITTLE CHILDREN, ALL THE LITTLE CHILDREN AROUND THE WORLD, RED & YELLOW, BLACK & WHITE, JESUS LOVES THEM ALL IN SIGHT, JESUS LOVES THE LITTLE CHILDREN, ALL THE LITTLE CHILDREN AROUND THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(*Ok, no, I don't this picture either, but, this is a relative of mine who died in 1956, so, A.) you'll see why I'm talking about her in a moment, B.) I don't think it really matters if it's an ancestor).
And, do you know why else what you are telling the children is wrong? Because it is essentially telling children "You deserve to be beaten, insulted, have your things vandalized/stolen, be threatened, insert other form of abuse here." And, kids believe it to a degree that they become depressed & attempt suicide. Other times, they get so desperate that their parents buy them stun guns or in some way, shape, or form, the situation will get much more dire than suicide (if such a thing is even possible).
Now, I would like to say something to the victims of bullying who are inevitably reading this post, as well as those who are thinking about typing "Homosexuality is a sin/choice, repent for your sins right now!" in the comment section. It is not a choice. Otherwise, every person on this planet would be gay, & humans would become endangered species. Not one of the many people that claim to be gay ever woke up one morning when they were four years old & thought "I am going to be gay when I grow up."
In the same light, never once when I was four years old did I ever wake up in the morning & say "I am going to be a Goth when I grow up." Neither did Marilyn Manson ever wake up as a child & say "I am going to be people's worst nightmare when I grow up." Neither did Lady Gaga ever wake up as a child & say "I am going to dress in fashions so ridiculous I'll be the both the fashion queen & laughingstock of Hollywood at the same time when I grow up." Nor did Ronnie James Dio ever wake up when he was a child & say "I am going to turn an italian good luck-bad luck hand gesture into one of rock music's most iconic rituals."
And, now, here's the story on the final picture: It's my great-great aunt. She had diabetes & because of it, she had her one leg cut off at the knee. She grew up to be one of those performers who took her prosthetic off for the amusement of the crowd for the troops. Never once as a child did she wake up & say "I am going to take my leg off for the amusement of others when I grow up."
To children being bullied:Whatever they are bullying you for, remember, it is probably something no one, not even you have much, or any, control. I am not going to bullshit you by saying "It gets better", even though 75% of the time, it does get better. Because you probably will hear it from a million other people. But, tell yourself this: I will not receive shit from the shit I do not, can not, & will not have the ability to control.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Cover for The Devil Horn's Toss
Okay. So, I finished The Devil Horns' Toss. But, I am in the proccess of writing a musical & a book that is much longer than Savant, The Devil Horns' Toss, & Borders & Envelopes. So, I will be posting a lot less frequently. But, here is the cover for The Devil Horns' Toss:
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